This Valentine’s Day couples young and old will strive to prove their love via candy, poems, songs, flowers, and helium balloons. It’s funny though, do these things actually do anything to convince our spouses of our love? Yes and no.
If your marriage is healthy, Valentine’s Day gestures will extend an already present sentiment during a festive time of year – which is great! If your marriage is struggling, they may provide a quick kick of fun/excitement, but I doubt they’ll do much long-term edification of your spouse if true love is absent from your everyday lives.
Last year I explored the history of Valentine’s Day and discovered new reason to celebrate. This year I asked myself: “How can I prove my love to Selena?”. In another sense I also asked myself “how do I really know Selena loves me?” Here’s what I realized:
When I opened up about my problems – when I really confessed to her– Selena was hurt (naturally), but she also saw that I was coming to her for help. She felt loved through my honesty and refusing to “sweep it under the rug” any longer. I cared too much for her to let wounds fester, and she saw that. When we discussed it and got accountable to each other, the wound was cleaned and we could start healing.
Ok, we’re certainly NOT perfect because of transparency, but it leaves little room for doubt about whether or not we love each other. Here are some examples:
Honesty without love is cold and love without honesty is shallow. We must both be honest with each other, in love, if we’re to experience full, deep love.
The mark of mature love is when it doesn’t depend on emotion to exist. What does that even mean?? Basically, it means loving when you don’t feel like it. Why? Because you promised you would. Also, that’s what love is. Love that has conditions isn’t love at all, it’s selfishness.