Not only does divorce hurt children, but far too many of those children don’t know how to deal with the hurt. Many hold the pain in, others act out in destructive ways. Either way, the pain of what has happened erodes their ability to cope with the hurt in useful ways. Jean’s Character Building Divorce Stories to Help Your Child Heal provides, not just advice, but Five Star Tools to strengthen what I call a child’s emotional fitness, and others call resilience or Emotional Intelligence. Not only will the child deal better with the hurt of divorce, but he or she will be better prepared to deal with other negative feelings that are part of life.
Caring parents in an unhappy marriage face a painful dilemma – keep trying for the sake of a child or children versus giving up and seeking their own happiness. Romantic love is a many delusional thing, many second marriages turn out to be just as unhappy as first marriages. So think twice before divorcing and get counseling first.
Just so you know my bias, many times during my 42 years of marriage both David and I might have divorced, had we not had children or had we had more money. I am glad we hung on. Doing so, however, has to be a personal decision and children can be just as hurt by living with angry, depressed, or unhappy parents as by divorce. Life is a struggle and relationship probably one of the places we struggle most. With the right tools, however, we can all move forward toward the good life.